When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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