I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Randomize
