Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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