I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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