This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
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Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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