I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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