I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
