I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
