Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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