We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
