I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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