Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Go christen that room with your naked body.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
