We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
