No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
