So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
In other news, I just burned my penis
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
