he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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