im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
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THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize