Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
