i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
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Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
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The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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