I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
