the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
