zippers are such a cool invention
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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