this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
