I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
i out mim tonsoeep
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