Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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