I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
