whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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