absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
