We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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