i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
