i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
