Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Randomize