Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
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Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
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I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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