I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize