I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
