All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize