what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
