Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
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