you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize