I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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