actually, I'm a sock model
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
