"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
PANTIES FOUND
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