drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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