The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize