On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
