I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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