Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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