too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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