Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
