I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
