I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
