I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
