Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
