what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
