Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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