Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
