I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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