youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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