Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
