he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
