I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
