She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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